Lara’s 100 WC

The violent storm was horrendous. BANG, the windows smashed. It was as frosty as the snow. The lights flickered; some of the power went out. I was shivering. Suddenly, a strong breezed entered though the cracked windows, blowing my lamp off the table. SMASH, flicker, the lights were out. It was pitch black. My power had been cut. I felt for my torch, which was under the couch, I finally grabbed it and switched it on. The torch was my only hope of survival. It was so cold, my body was numb, like I couldn’t move. I suddenly doze off into a deep sleep…

3 Comments on Lara’s 100 WC

  1. Mrs. Vreeland@Team 100
    November 1, 2013 at 11:42 pm (6 years ago)

    Excellent work Lara! What an ominous ending. Beware of hypothermia! Reminds me of when we were without power for over a week last year. I loved you use of onomatopoeia. Keep up the great work.

  2. Mrs. Vreeland@Team 100
    November 1, 2013 at 11:43 pm (6 years ago)

    oops! Teachable moment. I meant to say YOUR use of onomatopoeia.

  3. Mrs Fullarton, Team 100WC
    November 5, 2013 at 11:13 pm (6 years ago)

    A powerful description of how you coped with the violent storm! Your writing is very sophisticated, with lots of descriptive language and effective use of punctuation – especially with the capital letters for BANG and SMASH! I can tell you work hard to include commas in your writing, which you do ambitiously. I’m sure your teacher is very proud of you.
    Thank you Lara, I enjoyed reading this.
    Mrs Fullarton, Team 100WC (Essex, UK)


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