October 31

Ed’s 100 WC

The violent storm was coming over the hills, with lightning piercing out of the clouds like Zeus throwing bolts of lightning. The lightning made clouds look like they were walking over the hills. Our small town started to rush inside and barricade the doors. The storm was getting closer by the minute. It started to rain and the clouds took over the sky like an army taking over a country. I rushed inside and turned on the radio. The news said over three hundred objects have been struck. I looked out the window, the storm had cleared.


Posted October 31, 2013 by baker2012 in category Uncategorized

2 thoughts on “Ed’s 100 WC

  1. Miss Baker (Team 100)

    Hi Ed,

    Aren’t you lucky that I am your judge this week! I think this is your best 100 WC yet, it is certainly the most descriptive I have seen you write! I like that you have used similes and lots of great describing words to build a picture in the reader’s mind.

    My only piece of advice would be to not resolve your story, the storm you built up seemed so violent, I doubt it would have cleared so quickly! A better ending that leaves the reader guessing would have been better.

    Otherwise, an outstanding piece of writing!

    Reply
  2. Matt (Team 100WC)

    Well done Ed, you painted such an incredible picture of the storm using a range of brilliant vocabulary. I agree with Miss Baker though, you don’t need to conclude your 100WC entry, sometimes its good to leave a reader in suspense….

    Reply

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