October 31

Angus’s 100 WC

The violent storm was completely unexpected because the radar showed no sign of any winds or rain when they checked before getting onto the plane to go skydiving. But as soon as they jumped the storm started. They tried to grab onto the edge of the plane but they had already fallen too far. They released the parachute but that was the mistake. Now that they were travelling slower they were getting blown further across towards the volcano that was still active. As they approached they saw that it looked as hot as the sun and they knew that they were going to die.


Posted October 31, 2013 by baker2012 in category Uncategorized

3 thoughts on “Angus’s 100 WC

  1. Carol Newton (Team 100WC)

    This is a great piece of writing Angus! I can really picture the scene in my mind as there is so much great detail! Perhaps you could work on using commas to separate clauses, as this would really help the reader with those complex sentences! Keep up the great writing!

    Reply
  2. Mrs. Van Team 100WC

    This is a super exciting story, until the last sentence. If, “they knew they were going to die,” then that’s it, isn’t it? If you had left it open-ended e.g. “they feared that they might get drawn into it.” That way the reader wonders what might happen next, instead of it being final. Other than that, this is a great 100 WC. You are a story teller!

    Reply
  3. Fay (Team 100wc)

    Hi Angus, Thank you so much for submitting this well-written, unusual and realistic story to the 100WC. I really enjoyed reading it. Personally, I very much agree with your type of ending (sad and scary as it is) – I actually much prefer it to a cliffhanger. Excellent!!

    Reply

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