Ruby’s Halloween Challenge

Lighting thrashed and with a mist of fog a black figured appeared. Next to the dark figure was a big golden bag that shimmed through the misty fog. As she stood there, it seemed as if she was backwards with a snake and pitchers as hands, she had devils feet a cobwebbed had and a green slimy face with blood red cheeks and a big like wart on her nose. As she walked slowly she had a slight tilt she clamed up into the creaking door and slammed it behind her. Ever since then there has been loud BANGS………………

3 Comments on Ruby’s Halloween Challenge

  1. Mrs. Middleton (Team 100WC)
    October 26, 2013 at 9:08 pm (6 years ago)

    Wow, what a scary creature you have created, Ruby. I am impressed that you took the time to describe your creature from head to foot so that the reader can imagine it fully. Words such as thrashed, cobwebbed hands, and shimmered all add to the suspense of the piece.
    Sometimes when we write we forget to take that extra last look to ensure all of our spelling is correct. This is such an important step in writing, though, as you want to communicate the ideas clearly to your reader. On your next piece spend a couple of extra minutes carefully reading over your work to catch as many of the spelling errors as you can.
    Keep up the great writing, Ruby.
    Mrs. Middleton (Team 100WC)

  2. Mrs Prior - Team 100WC
    October 27, 2013 at 1:25 pm (6 years ago)

    Hi Ruby,
    I think you have created a very scary image here. I like how you did not just describe the physical aspects but how she moves as well. Her ‘devil’s face, blood red cheeks and wart on her nose’ are building a horrifying picture in my mind. I wonder what her golden bag was for and what was behind that big door?
    Riveting stuff – very well done indeed.

  3. Heather
    October 30, 2013 at 4:07 am (6 years ago)

    Fantastic writing and imagery Ruby!!! Well done, so proud of you!


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